i do want my future husband to be a great father like he is
but unfortunately i don't want my future husband to be a husband like him
never
never
because i saw the sadness in her eyes every single time she tell her stories
i already knew
and i'm not so sure whether i'm able to hold it up for that long
i don't know if i'm..... strong enough
i'm scared i would break apart without a shoulder to cry on
i, i half hate you
though i know i shouldn't be
Allah forgive me
call me blind, call me deaf, call me stupidi don't care anymore, i miss you
sangat..
wish i could turn back the time
i swear i would appreciate your feelings
i'm sorry for being so immature
god, can't believe i miss you so much
and the most pathetic thing is..
i could never tell you
i can't even look into your eyes and talk comfortably
sigh
all i can do now is just praying that you would be happy
with you current life, and probably with your current crush/gf
tell her don't ever break your precious heart
or she'll find her house burnt by me the next morning
i love you;
(insert pretentious smiley emoticon.jpg)
Trust no bitch.
Salamalaykum hi. I've been a little depressed lately. A little tiny bit, tak sampai tahap terfikir nak bunuh diri bagai apa lagi. I post this not to spill the reasons why the depression occur but to make things clear. Yknow, I tweeted a few hints about my problems before, cursed a few hehe cant helped it. But anyway I saw this best friend of mine Kaiyisah trying to help me by asking what's my problem. She also ask me to spill to her as I tweet "I want to spill my problems to a stranger". I refused to.
Okay its not that I didn't believe her. I know Kaiyisah is a great friend and she will always be. But I don't want people to know my problems. The things that happening inside me. I prefer to keep it by myself. Its hurt so much, keeping all of this by myself but I rather being hurt like this than spilling to friends, then one day they'll use it as a weapon to me. Who knows what might happen days ahead? Kita hanya mampu merancang, Allah SWT yang menentukan. I'm afraid they'll judge and mock me by my nasty lame problems.
I experienced this before, a couple times actually. I felt like my trust just bammm, vanished like that easily. That is why I decided to build my walls higher than I ever had before and promised to myself not to spill easily, not even a boyfriend, no. I love my friends, they were my long lost sisters but yeah, sometimes a friend can be a bitch without us even knowing. Sorry. Maybe next time.
Stranger.
Hi salamalaykum. Last Tuesday I went to myspeed Machang to take a computerized test (theory question) in order to get an L license. Seriously gabra sebab I tak baca sangat malam tu tapi syukur Alhamdulillah I passed by getting 43 over 50. And that was a big sigh of relief. Met my friends there from Mrsm Jeli; Faiqah, Aina and Fatnin. Faiqah also took the computerized test with me but unfortunately she failed by getting 40. I met Fatnin and Aina when they were waiting for their turn to drive. Untunglah diorang dah pandai drive. Aku? Hahaha L pun tak lepas lagi. Sad life.
So, the story is, after I got my result I went to the car all by myself since Faiqah left with Aina sebab dia habis exam dulu. As I passed a building where calon-calon peperiksaan berkomputer untuk sesi II tengah prepared themselves dengan membaca buku memandu, a guy which is one of the candidates suddenly ask me from his seat; Dapat berapa?. I was quite shocked since I didn't know him at all but anyway I answered him. Then he replied; Oh ganah dio. I smiled back. Okay not that I'm bragging about how a stranger, a cute guy actually hehe just tegur aku but he makes me realize how a friendly person can make another person's day. He made my day tho knowing that there are still people out there yang don't give a damn about others looks. How can I know that he doesn't care about looks? Well I'm not that pretty. Kalau lelaki tegur aku memang jarang sangat-sangat, once in a 5 years maybe. So that guy, without any single doubt just ask me, freely. Like we know each other before. Proof number one.
Wait, I'm not finished yet. Since I passed the computerized test, I got to attend a practical class at Akademi Memandu Kelewek. Guess what, I met him again tapi sadly I saw him dari jauh. Alah kalau dari dekat pun he wouldn't recognize me kan. Anyway saw him talking to another not-so pretty girl. No, don't get me wrong. Bukannya aku nak cakap perempuan tu buruk gila ke apa tapi you know, yang bukan type lelaki idam-idamkan. Alah typically lelaki yang gatal tegur perempuan yang cecantik je kan? You can't deny it. But this guy having a conversation, yet again, freely. Maybe you'll think there's a possibilities that the girl is his friends or maybe related to him but based on my observation, no they don't relate at all. Its just him, being friendly. Proof number two.
Conclusion, he's friendly. And friendly people can makes others' day. I rest my case.
Would you?
Would you do it? I don't know what the heck is happening now in my head but the moment I saw this, I just said yes in silence. I think I'm being ungrateful for what Allah SWT had give to me. He give me a lot but yet I'm still not grateful. Forgive me for my wrongdoings Ya Allah :(
What had happened between us.
Salamalaykum hi. Tadi I just found this explanation about what had happened between couples these days. They're both still love each other but calls it quit because the love feelings, it actually faded but after a break up, they were still missing each other and realize the love, its still there but it cannot be seen. Okay waktu extreme pepagi buta ni entah apa aku melalut, but here, read it :)
Don’t stop chasing.
I think that one of the biggest reason why relationships do not work out in the long run is because at one point, one side (or both) stops trying. Before one claims another person as their significant other, they would do anything to make that person happy. They would chase, they would flirt, they would be charming. They would send daily morning and goodnight texts every time you wake up or go to sleep. They would write corny messages and pick up lines just to make sure that there is a smile upon your face. But once they claim you as theirs, all of those things eventually stop. The 5 page texts slowly turn into 1. The constant calls turn into not calling at all. And the lovely endearments turn into daily arguments. In order for a relationship to work, don’t ever stop chasing. Just because the person you want is now consider “yours”, it does not mean they deserve anything less than the time when you’re trying to win them over.
by : http://unexotic.com
I understood and .... scared.
I'm done.
Salamalaykum, hi. Today I'm officially knew that I sucks in relationship. I just can't handle all those attention they needed, the feelings, the crap they want from me, I just can't. I leave him, actually we both did. I got tired of him and maybe he did too. Well it's great that the fact we both felt that way. No one got hurt. Okay I do get hurt for a while but now, I'm fcking hurtless. I've got to admit it is soooooo hard to move on after a move on I did a few weeks ago but I'm awesome, I am actually did it. Yes I really like to please myself mind me. Not to mention it is damn hard to act like you were fine but inside, a war had happened. Now I'm home and if I don't act like I'm fine and burst into tears, my parents would maybe ask me and I don't want to explain this and that. My father would kill him if he knew what a damaged he'd done to my heart. Oh ayat. Luckily I'm strong enough to kill this pain inside. Like I said, I'm awesome.
At first, it's difficult for me to just run away and forget those problems between us. Every single night, we've been there texting, knowing each other. I got attached to you. Texting you is a daily routine for me. But that is the problem with getting attached to someone. When they leave and ignore you, you just feel lost. The first time you did it, I got lost and it made my feelings for you just shattered into tiny little pieces. Then you asked for another chance and I gave it although my feelings for you at that time was zero. Z-E-R-O. You got through your ego so I ask myself why shouldn't I gave him a chance. Lets see how he do it this time. Result? Nothing change. You will always act like that. Asking for more and more and more attention. Like hello if you want that much attention go have a relationship with your mother. Don't be such a dick, I'm not your wife. So that's it. We're done. After a few break ups, now we're totally done.
Btw, I prefer calling my feelings for you before is too much likeness, not love. You came to me when I have nothing except loneliness and wounds. So I accepted you and congratulation, that just made it to my list of the worst nightmare so why not give yourself a clap. Tipulah kalau kata tak rindu. Memang, sometimes I start to miss you and then I realize how sad you made me and then I start to hate you again. And when I hate, you can become anything. Pig, piglet, cow, dog, anything baby. Hehe I'm that sarcastic, people.
K broken-heart healed. I try not to involve in any relationship because it is proved I suck in this kind of things. Relationship after relationship after another just proved it. I rest my case. I'm going single as long as I can. Eh bunyi nya macam banyak peminat, ye dok. Lol who cares. Now if you excuse me, I got a cat to love. Introducing Szali, as known as chika. Love you baby muah.
Nothing actually.
Salamalaykum. Yep, its nothing actually. I mean it. Nothing. I have nothing to type but my fingers, ugh they want to. Hehe. Okay the gif has nothing to do with my condition now. I'm okay, no problem. Just saying in case there are somebody out there who are worrying about me . I know there would be nobody but I like to please myself so what. This is an awkward post ikr.
Oh anyway result PMR keluar 19 December ni. Okay I berdebar sangat you all. Ops ter-mengada. Haha. Goodluck buat junior-junior ku yang tercinta. Imma good senior so I wish them good luck and give some useless advice. Yeah guys, keep on praying. Redha je berapa-berapa yang kau dapat. It doesn't matter pun kalau tak boleh straight A tapi bagi kanak-kanak baya korang, it do matter kot. Hehe macam aku dulu lah. Gitu jugak rasa nya. Insecure. Bedebor gilo-gilo. Semoga junior-junior sekalian dapat keputusan impian memasing ye, In Shaa Allah. Pastikan 8A. Amin.
I speak to remind you.
Salamalaykum. Dear people. Yes I am not old enough also to talk about love - regarding about my post recently in facebook but I talk/type based on what I understand, what I've gone through. Budak-budak as I mentioned in the status is kids in elementary school, form one and two students. They are considered as kids for me. I'm in their shoes once. I know whats its like to be them - thought that you know what love is when you have relationship as boyfriends/girlfriends with someone sorta. Then fikir "Oh I love my boyfriend. I know he would never leave me. He will be faithful to me. He will love me forever." Ugh, I pernah fikir that thing when I was a kid. Then, what happen? Le boyfriend isz goneeeee. Yeah and I feel like so stupid sebab pernah fikir benda macam tu. My ultimate intention by posting that status is to remind kids out there to not to think about boyfriends and love yet. Kalau think okay la, mungkin tak boleh nak dielakkan but please don't show it to the world. Don't post it as a status. Believe me, it would make you look like stupid when you think about it when you grow older. Believe me kids. I looked upon my past status in facebook and some of it disgust myself. Le me thought "The heck am I thinking back then". K. Thats it.
P.S Oh for those yang tak tahu what the heck am I talking pasal status bagai, this is the status le me is talking about :
Reality sucks.
Salamalaykum, peace upon to you. Yes you. You know what? Moving on is not a simple task. Moving on is like leaving the sweet memories you used to cherish before, leaving the things that used to play in your mind about them and completely leaving the one who you used to love. Its hard kan? Its not as simple as breathing for normal people. It is not. I repeat. Not.
Actually I am talking about me. Yeah me, not you this time. I know I've got to move on. But as I said lah kan, its hard. Lebih-lebih lagi leaving the one you used to like for years. Nope it won't be easy. I like him before I knew what was love back then. And scarily, I knew love - from human to human, through him. I know it seems childish, you know, that ayat just now but I'm afraid its the truth. Ugh. The fact that I've got to move on is bothering me. Really. But I'm working hard on it.
Previously, I'm busy with things like dealing with SPM, laughing with mates, caring for those who have close relationship to me. So I didn't think much about him. Now that I'm home, no mates, SPM was done, and no relationship anymore, I suddenly miss him, the long lost ex before my ex. The unusual text he sent me. The way he treat me. The memory we shared. I'm currently craving for that. But by stalking his social site, looks like he doesn't need me anymore. I don't really like that statement but its the truth mehhh. I cannot change the fact. Ugh, screw that.
Takpelah, what done is done. Pandai buat pandai tanggung, Nur Alia. I need to be strong. To get a better him, I need to be a better muslimah, isn't? In sha Allah. Btw, I sincerely hope for a love after marriage. Much more blessed by Allah SWT.
Goodbye feelings :)
What am I becoming into?
I am currently lifeless. Every day with the same lame routine. From the morning I woke up (mind the fact that I tend to woke up on noon after performing Subuh hehe), online, so-called breakfast (okay lunch), mandi, tv/online, Zohor, tv/online, Asr, tv/online, mandi, Maghrib, dinner, tv/online, Ishak, tv/online, mandi, sleep. And the same things goes on the next day, and the next day, and after. What a life. As you can see, I spend more time on the internet and tv. I'm afraid these things trained me to be anti-social. Even to go to my grandma house which is located exactly behind my house pun seems like a hard task for me. Ugh. I don't want to be this kinda of human but this attitude, meh its hard to change.
Thats it
Yep thats it. SPM finished and school are done. I have no homework this holidays and next year, there would be any uniforms I would have to wear on, Insya-Allah. Tapi dalam gembira sakan in a joy called freedom pun, aku masih runsing, bimbang, cuak. I couldn't do well in SPM actually. Jawab soalan pun main belasah je. To be honest, straight As is impossible for me. Kalau dapat pun Alhamdulillah, mungkin Allah SWT ingin memberi rezeki. Well in short, aku tak mengharap. Langsung tak. Redha je lerr. Let bygone be bygone. The blame is on me. Sape suruh malas sangat nak study? Thus I have no regrets. I may not do my best, but next time Insya-Allah I won't repeat my mistake.
And btw, I miss my friends.
Im bored to death.
24 hours in home is lifeless.
Pfft.
No I won't.
I almost repeated the same old thing. Thing that makes me regretted all year long. But luckily now, I realised before it's too late that I need to trash out my ego and stupidity to not to let him go - as I let go of the other him years before. No, this time I won't. I do wrongs and I learned from it. And yes thank Allah ; we finally got through a small brawl just now :')
There's more to come
Just wait for it and solve it calmly.
Jessie J
I'm a big fan of Jessie J's music. Hehe just saying.
Change heh?
Assalamualaikum. Ramadhan is over and syawal just started. Bukan nak angkat bakul sendiri atau apa, but I've got to admit yang I manage to change myself a bit during those setahun sekali month. Yeah atleast a bit pun better than nothing kan. What did I manage to change? Err mulut taksekotor macam biasa & tahan nafsu - dua pun nak bising hehe ikr. Okay yang tahan nafsu tu takdelah sampai kesembilan-sembilannya tapi adalah some yang I successfully managed to control.
So I was thinking about changing for the better .. like forever. Can ah? or cannot? Reason : because I want things to change. Iyelah, classmate aku kata - for things to change, we must change first. So, I want some things okay lots of things to change thus aku perlu berubah. I know its hard to change yrself and I have experience doing so but but but but but and lots of buts, usaha tangga kejayaan. If I really want it so bad, Insya-Allah dengan usaha yang gigih dicucuri keberkatan Allah SWT, I'll get it :)
And yeah
Wish me luck
Raya?
Assalamualaikum people. Happy Eid Mubarak, Selamat Hari Raya - maaf zahir batin. Salah silap lupakan boleh? Lewat ke? Well it's not that late. 3 Syawal baru kan. Open house pun belambak lagi nak buat. Soooooooooo, I saw many share their syawal stories through gambar on facebook, twitter, blogspot, everywhere. Mine? Hehe maaflah. Aku memang malas nak upload gegambar raya dalam social sites sekarang. Busy sangat konon-konon. Banyak rumah yang perlu beraya. Hehehe alasan bukan main.
Aidilfitri aku tahun ini? Better than previous year. Suasana meriah walaupun kami baru kehilangan someone close shortly :'( Tapi we got over it and celebrate it as usual. Raya route family aku berjalan seperti tahun-tahun yang lepas. Menu pun bukan main best. Laksa penang, mihun kuah, macam-macam! Memang langsung tak rugi kami raya di Penang. Well, tak banyak yang menarik boleh diceritakan. It was a usual celebration.
So yeah, Happy Eid Mubarak again guys.
Ikhlas
Aku ikhlas menyayangimu.
여동생
:)
Ramadhan Datang Lagi
Assalamualaikum and salam Ramadhan Al-Mubarak - selamat berpuasa dear Muslims. Dibulan Ramadhan ini, we better take the opportunity to gain as much pahala as we can! Take advantage of it. Rugi kalau tak guna. Aku pun cuba nak guna bulan Ramadhan ini untuk menjadi seorang muslimah yang lebih baik. Insya-Allah boleh :)
Jadi bersempena dengan bulan Ramadhan ini, jom kita perbanyakkan amalan. Jom solat terawih - 8 rakat pun jadilah. Tapi kalau berkesempatan, I'll do more. For me, solat terawih is kinda special. Iyelah, bulan lain mana ada solat terawih kan? Besides, I'll try to fill up my free time with reciting al-Quran and studying rather than gossiping and do useless things. Ehehe.
Puasa ini sempat spend time fasting dirumah sikit saja. Dalam lima hari je kot. Fuhh - dugaan pelajar SPM. Tapi takpe, last school year lah katakan. Last sahur dan berbuka dengan girlfriends. I'll surely miss them next year and after. By thinking of that pun dah cukup buat aku sedih.
Dah dah. Jari dah letih. Bila letih jadi lapar. Bila lapar, nak makan. Bila nak makan, makanlah! Eh lupa. Puasa pulak hari ini hehe. Goodbye fellas. Puasa jangan tinggal okay :)
Oh lupa.
By next week, aku bakal mengahadapi Pre-Trial.
Do wish me good luck.
Dan dapat score 9A+ straight!
Amin.
Grateful much?
Assalamualaikum and hi. Just so you know, aku dah cukup bersyukur dengan apa yang aku ada sekarang. Family, friends, lovelist and life. But that doesn't mean I'm gonna stop wanting for more. I'll work hard to get what I want and what I actually deserve. Tapi persoalannya - am I really gonna? Susah juga bila dah rasa bersyukur ni. Bila rasa dah cukup, aku mula rasa malas berusaha. It's pretty hard to have a war inside you. You want that but mind say no. You want this, but heart say no. Boom, war happens. I cannot deal lah with the rasa bersyukur ni. Susah sangat.
Btw I need to topup my studies. Yang ni aku belum boleh lagi bersyukur. Dah banyak sangat aku main-main. Over-active dalam aktiviti tidur . Hmph. Tak padan dengan what-people-called-us-as SPM candidates and so. Plus, surely need need need to topup my iman. Need to bright up more the nur in my heart. Biar kesedaran tu banyak lagi. Hati aku sekarang semakin gelap. Too much entertainment I guess, sampai leka dengan nikmat di dunia. Sigh.
Allah SWT itu Maha Penyayang, Maha Pengasih, dan Maha Pengampun :')
Sahabat
Sungguh aku sayangkan hubungan kita. Hubungan aku dan engkau. Hubungan aku dengan mereka. Hubungan yang susah ditukar ganti dengan nilai wang permata intan berlian. Terima kasih buat mereka-mereka yang sudi menyinari hariku dan memaniskan memori persahabatan. Walau seberapa banyak luka, walau seberapa banyak parut, walau seberapa banyak sakit, mereka kan tetap disini, di hati <3
Going Already
Assalamualaikum and hi. Amboi, besar gedabak muka-muka alien diatas - lol. Anyway, tomorrow on Tuesday, I'll make my way to Maktab Rendah Sains Mara Jeli. Ada kelas tambahan. Surely I'll sleep on several classes tapi ye lah, atleast I attend those classes. Tak ponteng haram okay. Most of the students macam " Alaaa, kelas tambahan kebende nye lagi? Haihh. Tak boleh tengok orang cuti sikit!" Okay. One of my old dialogues. Tapi kalau tengok-tengok balik, kira fair lah. Kali ini cikgu tak bagi homework yang bertambun like they used to. Cuma dua folio yang boleh di-copy-paste one hundred percent from internet. Alah, macam dia bagi kitorang relax-relax sepenuhnya masa cuti then ask us to datang awal untuk ganti masa yang kitorang telah bazirkan masa cuti. For our own good jugak lah kan. Kira fair lah - Now I look like a good and nerd student aren't I? *over-grinned* Anyway, I miss my friends. My deskmates especially - Pah, Pacha, Anne, Reen and Aingg. My classmates takdelah sangat kot hehe. And I also miss my other girlprengg. Rindu nak bertalking-talking and stuffs.
Ah one more! RESULT. Grrr serious lambat result sampai. Kalau result sampai after Tuesday, mampos keras lah aku. Mesti that bloody letter from maktab sampai ke tangan my parents dulu. Me no likey *pouts*. Biasa bila result sampai, aku dengan laju macam ninja akan ke mailbox dan sorok surat dalam baju. Then aku pergi check dulu senyap-senyap dalam bilik. Kalau okay, boleh bawak keluar tunjuk sama parents. Kalau vice versa, that letter akan ku sorok dalam peti berkunci dan berantai besi setebal 5cm buat selama-lamanya. Hehe. But I guess not this time. Haihh. Pressure pressure! Ku serahkan segalanya pada Allah. Sobsobsob. Semoga result meningkat macam roket naik ke bulan. Amin *tiupkanan* *tiupkiri*
Until then - bye Tanah Merah :')
Wreck This Journal
'Wreck This Journal' just included in my must-have-list. I want this journal so badddd. Just checked it on ebay. I thought it cost RM50+ but surprise, surprise it only cost about RM43. Lah, bunyi macam mahal tapi for me dah kira reasonable la. Fyi, it is not just a plain and ordinary journal. Its like a creative journal. It ask you to trace your hand, colour the whole page, and ada one page tu suruh pengguna bawak masuk shower sekali! Well, kira macam creative and interesting lah - tak reti nak explain much hehe. Walaubagaimanacara sekalipun, I want this - but clearly not now. Sekarang my wallet kalau kebas-kebas boleh keluar rama-rama macam cerita Mr Bean = pokai. Tengoklah after November I'll check balik. Tapi surely I'll get this one :)
Contoh-contoh creative page yang telah di-creativekan oleh para pengguna Wreck This Journal :
Google it for more. You will fall for it too.
Friend Forever
Assalamualaikum and hi readers - okay bajet readers bermillion.
Here's a story. I've got a friend. Well, once she was my bestfriend. Then we turn out to be an enemy for a couple of years. Jeling situ jeling sini. Menganjing and everything enemy do to each other. As time passes by and we grew older, seems like we forgive and forget each other - seem je la ; I don't know about her but I do. Truth to be told, I love her. Even when we're in the enemy state. Tapi entah. Ego aku yang menggunung mendorong aku bertindak sedemikian. I don't even remember how on earth we turn out to be like that. Tapi sekarang, kami dah boleh tegur-menegur and laugh together. Oh yes, I sure do miss those moments. Moments with her. Once, she called me Alia. Nama yang she used to call me when we were bestfriend - and yes they called me with another name now. Erggh I felt like my heart would explode of happiness!
Konklusinya, I regretted. You know, what I've done to her was terrible. But human are imperfect. They make mistakes and they learn from it - those yang pandai guna peluang la. So here, I yang nak jadi those yang pandai guna peluang given by Allah SWT, learned my lesson. Ketepikan ego for people I love. Mengalah. That's what keep relationship last longer. And to her : sorry for everything wehh. I do hope you read this. Aku malu nak terus-terang face-to-face :I
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR BESTFRIEND. I LOVE YOU FOREVERRR :)
P/S I love her. I miss her. I miss us.
Sorry
*KELATE MODE ON*
Sorry kalu aku ado ter-buat mung sakit hati dan ter-makeyy mung, budok. Mitok maah. Napok mung lain doh nge aku loni. Walaupun tknapok direct tapi sero mace lain. Lain lah, lain. Gnilah, aku suko ko mung. Suko sangat-sangat nah - tkbeci lgsg. Tapi yo lah, takut aku ado buat gapo-gapo ko mung hk buat mung jadi gni nge aku. Mitok maah. Bia mung buke ado gapo gapo nge aku tapi aku saye ko mung.
Harap mung sero :\
Happy Birthday
Assalamualaikum and hai.
Happy belated birthday to my girlfriend, Aliea Fatasha - the beautiful one above.
See my girlfriend have the same name as me. Sweet much la kan. Actually birthday dia tak sampai seminggu pun lepas - 19 May, and I already wished her. Bukannya baru wish along this post. Cuma rasa agak kesal. You know, this year are the last year kami in high school and baru tahun lepas aku rapat dengan dia. So birthday celebration on midnight (tradisi budak-budak asrama) on her tahun lepas so-so je. Unexpectedly, and unfortunately, tahun ni the same goes to her. We planned a prank and a little simbah-simbah air on her tapi before midnight, we've done something yang tiring so 30 minutes before midnight, everybody collapsed. Letih. So the plan-plan yang di-plan since Maghrib got cancelled. Aku naik bilik and I thought my other friends dah tidur and tak tergamak kejut si birthday girl. Then ada message masuk into inbox Nokia murah aku. Puii, message tersebut berbunyi - Jom lah turun. Orang lain dah wish dah kat dia. Damn it. Sungguh aku rasa tersinggung. Fine. I got mad to everybody so aku tak turun. I just sent her a birthday message. Just a message! - what a friend.
Home At Last
Oh yeah mother. I'm home with couple of homeworks and ton of useless lists of things to do!
Hye books.
Assalamualaikum and hi sweethearts.
In an hour, i'll make my way to maktab. Three weeks in Jeli, will be bucking up on studies, chase what I miss, and redeem what I had to before two weeks of exam. Jyeahh - Exam Semester 1, 2012. Two weeks, bro. Two weeks. Masa berbaki seminggu untuk revise, study and ingat. Seminggu. Well I believe masa seminggu tu sebentar je kot akan berlalu. Ye lah, homeworksss - triple s means a lot - lagi yang tak siap. Sempat ke aku nak buck up nanti? Fuh. Takpe, when there's a will, there's a way. Kalau aku nak betoi betoi, i'll manage to do it for sure. But i'm pretty worry about the really really nak part actually. Pfft. It's hard-lah being lazy as bum ni. Dah done typing. Do wish me luck guys. I'm starving for As!
You give me strength :')
No words can decribe how much I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU.... - via text message
This was not coming from a boyfriend, or from a girlfriend, or maybe a best friend but from someone special. Special. Someone who sometimes give me strength, give me happiness, give me inspiration. Who make me feel appreciated, important and loved. Ya Allah, please never keep this one away from me. Please let us be like this forever. I love this one dearly. Please Ya Allah :')
SHIT happens.
Assalamualaikum and Hi people. Tiga minggu dimaktab, a lot of things unexpected happened. Kepergian, ketidakpuashatian, kebahagiaan sementara dan konflik. Alah, konklusinya - A LOT la. Kami dah cuba menentang apa yang buruk tapi apakan daya, diri hanyalah pelajar biasa. No, we won't give up lagi. Tindakan susulan akan diusahakan. If you know what I mean :)
Okay. Last three weeks yang kami kena datang sehari awal itu, telah berlangsungnya Karnival Sains & Inovasi 2012 Peringkat Timur di Padang MRSM Jeli ; yes my school. At first kami were like - "This is stupid. Nothing integhesting sangat pun." Well that was our first impression. Tapi setelah meletih-kan diri dengan round-round karnival site like a million of times, I've got to admit it, it was kinda fun. Well ; kami dapat information am, dapat gifts, dapat cuci mata, and dapat Mejar Dr Faiz Khaleed. Hewhew. Mengada.
Dah. Done typing. Pandai-pandai la my pictures speak ye kali ini :p
Busted Babe!
BUSTED!
Jyeah you ; Atierah Rushdi. Hewhew. Ni gapo eh? - Scroll down.
Oooo. You were writing about me then put it in draft eh? Been wondering how I found this? Hehe. Hari tu - hari Khamis, baru balik maktab. *Kelantan mode on* Scroll sapa ko bawoh tanoh blog updates tu. Yo lahh. Takut terlepas cerito panas-panas ko. Then, napok namo familiar - Alia. That's how I found out :p Okay done cerita penemuan. First question - bakpo trah delete balik? Seriously ore eager nok baco perabih! Post balik! Post balik! Tk puah hati nih mektok wehh. Fine. Maybe trah ado konflik perasaan kot maso tu. Hewhew. Meh la ore komen dulu based ko gapo hok ore buleh baco dari screencaps atas tu.
1. Minat ko someone?
// Well, used to. Loni dokk doh. KOTT. Tapi at least trying to get rid of that feelings hehe :)
2. Minat kpop?
// Minat la jugok. Buleh la bo nok laye. Nok ajok masuk concert pun okay :)
3. Laki pakai spec?
// Brehi sangat sangat lah trah! Napok matured plus nge muko ala-ala sweet gtu. Favorite kawe terr.
4. Kaiyisah Remli?
// Hehe. Jate kecik kawe tu, keno lah saye. Teman tray 2012 :)
- Conclusion nyo, yes ; persamaan itu ado antara kito. Adudu. Macam gewe gitu :))
To : Trah Yoi. Post balik deh!
Random
I need a superhero now.
Fastttttt.
ROKOKOS
Hi and Assalamualaikum.
Today I'll write about smoke/cigarette. Honestly, I don't like people who smoked. Yes, it do makes guys looks cool - as for me lah, but beside that it can affect the smokers life and people around him/her. Fikir lah sikit about people around you. People who loves you. Kalau umur pendek sebab rokok macam mana? Have you ever think about that? Memang tak nampak lagi effects rokok at this young time tapi bila future nanti? Who knows what might happen to you boy. Tolonglah cut it out buat yang merokok diluar sana. Susah berhenti kan? Kalau susah, kurangkan pun dah cukup baik. Yes, I know there would be no people yang smoked akan berhenti bila baca blogpost aku kali ini, tapi atleast it might make them think. Kan?
In my current life, I have two beloved people who smoke. My father and my special one. No, the special one is not a boyfriend or a crush. Its just someone special. My father currently smoking Dunhill and daun <-- quite a combination kan -.- Tapi as I can see now, dah berkurang. Molek lah tu daripada hisap every hour. Buat lemah jantung aku je. As for that someone special, I don't know what type do he smoke tapi what I know is one per day. Erggh. I told him before to quit it tapi dia kata dah berusaha tapi susah. Okay fine. I ask him to kurangkan instead. He said - 'Erm, tengoklah nanti'. See? Rokok is making people ketagih laa. Sekali cuba, pasti nak lagi dan lagi. Tapi sekarang I heard he's really give it an effort to quit smoking. Molek jugak. Aku bukan nak kongkong ke apa, tapi its for their health jugak kan.
I love them. That's why I ask them to stop. To stop treating their life harsh :)
New thing I discover.
Hi Assalamualaikum people.
2012 - I learned a new thing about myself. Great kan? Been wondering for a second? hewhew. Okay tiba tiba pula aku malu nak berkata-kata. *tariknafas-hembus* I am someone who are easy to love people. Mudah sayang orang. Kenal 15 minit, terus "I LAPP YOU"! Tak specific okay, for girls and boys. When someone do nice thing for me - even once sekalipun, I can go nuts loving them. Erm, habit baik ke tidak nih?
Last year, I didn't notice this at all until one day on 2012, I'm making a list of people I love and pheww that was a long list. Kawan-kawan aku yang tengok list tu pun pelik bila some names yang diorang tak expect, pop in list. "Aik? Dia ni pun kau sayang?" , "How can you love her/him?" <-- Some of their questions. Hewhew. Baru haritu korang tahu yang aku ni jenis cenggitu kan? Aku pun taktahu until hari tu.
So, ada fikir tak, YOU - yes you yang baca blog I, masuk list tak hari tu? Hehehehehe.
Kbye :)
Trum Tam Tam
Assalamualaikum sweethearts. And hi.
INLOVE or completely OUT OF IT?
My mind is blown by someone, or maybe some-two?
Ugghh. I hate this feelings - liking someone really really hard!
I know - tahun ni SPM, study and blablabla.
But, this just seem like doesn't want to get out of my mind.
Seriously God, bless me. I want 100% focus on my study.
Pls do help me calm this heart of mine.
Or maybe if I can put it in a jar outside, it would be better.
Anything that can kill my feelings.
Pleaseeeee.
I'm tired of this and that and those and ... damn.
Thats it. I'm entering an operation room to take out my heart.
Bye peeps :L
Yeah.
Hi sweet people. Assalamualaikum.
Yepp. Last night ada orang collapsed sampai pukul 4 pagi - harap aku terasa. But today I'm a new person - I'm not gonna sobbing tak tentu hala lagi. Kott. Well harap-harap lah. Aku dah ubah pandangan aku terhadap what you call that sweet thing? Love eh? Yeah, love. Dulu aku selalu nak bercinta sebab tengok kawan-kawan ada boiprengg, aku pun nak satu. Ops. Big mistake kan? Aku tak salahkan kawan-kawan aku dalam hal ni, yes it is my own mistake sebab aku sendiri yang tak tahan nafsu nak berkecimpung dalam bidang yang langsung tak bawa faedah kat aku. Elehh. Nak bercinta lah, nak ada boyfriend dua tiga lah. Sedar la diri sikit. Exam tak kemana, ada hati nak cakap pasal cinta. Lain lah pointer 4.0, straight A or whatever. Ni tak, A sejemput, gataii nak ada buah hati. Erghh.
P.S
Kau yang rugi. Bukan aku.
Sesungguhnya aku bersyukur.
FIN.
Tapi banyak-banyak buah hati aku, memang yang satu ini aku tak boleh tinggal dan takkan tinggal. Aku memang planning nak setia pada yang ini satu lah. Cewahh. Selama ni aku terlalu sibuk mencintai manusia tetapi aku terlupa mencintai Yang Mencipta manusia itu sendiri. Tuhanku Allah SWT :')
Memang manusia mudah leka.
Memang manusia seringkali lupa.
Tapi aku berazam taknak melupakan-Nya lagi.
Berkati aku Ya Allah.
Oh btw, esok dah habis cuti seminggu kanak-kanak sekolah bahagian Timur. Cuti kali ini aku agak bahagia kot. Homework ada dua je - hihi. Okay, yang report experiment Biology dah buat gang dengan classmates taknak buat. Beban berat sangat so kena kongsi-kongsi dengan classmates bagi ringan sikit :) Lagi? Hubungan dengan adik aku terbukti rapat. Text every night every day. Rindu aku lettew. Hewhew. Aku taknak bercinta dengan lelaki sembarangan, so aku decide nak bercinta dengan adik angkat sendiri. Hahahahahahaha kidding. Lagi? Online memanjang. Got hooked up dengan tumblr 24 jam. Serious benda tu buat aku melekat depan skrin. Lagi? Dah takde kebendo yang integhesting aku nak kongsi. Kbye. Lagi sebulan aku update balik.
x
We Are Young
Hi and Assalamualaikum people. Last night, I watched Glee on FOX. Glee is a musical drama, yes musical. Somehow its like Hindustan. They act, they sing. Then they act again and they sing again. I don't know about you guys, but for me, Glee is basically about friendship. For me-lah. It tell you about how the members of Glee club dealing with their life - with relationship, family and etc. Members of Glee club = friends. Kan?
Aku taknak cerita banyak pasal episod-episod Glee ni punnnn. I just want to share what I saw on YouTube semalam. So lepas tengok Glee on tv, aku merajinkan diri nak tengok Glee cover on YouTube pulak. Tengok itu. Tengok ini. I laughed at how Finn dance. I stunned at Mercedes vocal. Then sampai dekat video Glee cover of We Are Young, originally by Fun featuring Janalle Monae, aku tengok macam aku tengok video lain. Guess what? I got goosebumps and bulu roma naik. I absolutely loveeeee that cover because it show how close they all are. No matter what their difference are and what they argue about, at the end of the day they are accepted by everyone on that stage. In a nut shell, <-- (ayat essay. hehe) aku tersentuh :')
Yelah. Akhir-akhir ini aku agak sensitif pasal friendship. Since last two weeks punya issue. Kan I blog pasal how I valued them more? Oh. You tak baca. I Love my besties, my girlfriends. Enough said.
x
ASDFGHJKL
Hi people. Assalamualaikum. Setakat ini, cuti mid-sem anda awesome atau tidak? Okay awesome. Untunglah. Mine? No. Aku cuma goyang kaki dirumah. And not to forget le important things - makan, tidur, tengok tv, online, err and makan. Completely lifeless.
So memandangkan I don't have any interesting stories to blog about tapi tangan gatal nak taip taip keyboard computer sebab rumah aku takde keyboard music, I'll share about music yang I go crazy over akhir-akhir ini. Simple.
First.
Gotta Be You by One Direction.
I loveeeee 1D since around October 2011. Thanks to Tom Fletcher, vocalist of McFly who shared 'What Makes You Beautiful' lyrics video via his tumblr site. First time dengar, terus jatuh cinta <-- Love at first hear kott. Then I googled more about them. Kenal-kenal member, jatuh cinta pulokkkkkkkk. Hewhew, love at first sight :)
Can we fall, one more time?
Stop the tape and rewind.
Second.
A Thousand Years with 24 Mashup cover by Tanner Patrick.
Yang original by Christina Perri pun aku suka tapi entah, I love this version sebab lain daripada yang aku pernah dengar sebelum ni. Yelah, biasa dengar suara perempuan - Christina Perri je nyanyi. Kali ini nak bertukar angin pula dengar abang hensem nyanyi :)
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
Third.
Terukir di Bintang by Yuna.
Yuna. Aku suka dengar suara dia. Ala-ala nostalgic gitu. Suara dia kadang-kadang mampu membangkitkan memori dahulukala. Bila aku dengar lagu Terukir di Bintang, rasa macam bercinta di Rome. Or maybe zaman P.Ramlee? Entah tapi bila dengar lagu tu rasa macam inlove. Its a great feeling to be felt by :)
Jangan kau persoalkan siapa dihatiku
Terukir di bintang tak mungkin hilang cintaku padamu
Hmmm. Well theres still a ton of my favourite songs in my playlist tapi takkan nak share semua kot. Too many of them. Okay enough. Bye.
x
Bad Relationship Gone Good
Hi and Assalamualaikum people :)
It seem like you saw the picture I put above kan? Been wondering who are they? No, they aren't my batch-mates. They are budak-budak Form 4 merangkap juniors aku. 2012 is an unexpected year for me and probably for them too. The thing yang kami akan berbaik-baik and so on, well frankly, it never crossed my mind. Ever. Tapi manusia hanya mampu merancang// membayang, tapi Allah STW yang menentukan. Kalau dulu on 2010 and 2011, bila kami bump into each other, mesti ada yang buat muka menyampah, menjeling and benda lain. Tapi syukur Alhamdulillah, sekarang? Kami dah mampu untuk senyum. Aku senyum kat kau, kau senyum kat aku. Wahh. Harmoni gitu!
Let bygone be bygone. Yang dah lepas biarkan berlalu. Aku dah lepaskan benda-benda dulu, benda-benda negatif yang aku fikir pasal mereka, benda-benda lepas yang tak perlu diungkitkan lagi. Mereka? Well, I do hope they're doing the same as me. Lepaskan memori-memori yang tak perlu dikenangkan lagi. Memori yang maybe akan sakitkan parut yang hampir hilang. If you know what I mean.
January 2012
Aku dan roommates - Syer, Isya, Fhanie ditugaskan untuk menjaga WingA Paras 3. Fyi, it is known as a place where warden put what we called problematic students (Form Four). Bukan bermasalah dari segi akademik tetapi - sorry if this would offense some of them - tapi dari segi perangai. Tapi from what I can see, they're not THAT problematic sangat ponnnn. Mungkin, bising kott or here in Kelantan we say it as 'galok'. Kott je lahh. Aku pun tak sure. So, bila mula-mula aku tahu aku kena jaga Wing A, I was like --> HEH?. Orang kata, What you give, you get back. Last year, aku dah berpengalaman menetap disitu dan juga berpengalaman meng-anaktirikan kakak senior yang ditugaskan untuk jaga kitorang. Tahun ni aku diberi peluang untuk merasakan apa yang aku dah buat kat senior tu. Hehehe. Ok, aku agak sedikit menyesal. Masa tu aku hanya mampu berdoa semoga between aku dengan budak-budak ni nothing completely bad happen. Semoga aku senyap. Diorang senyap. Senang cerita.
Today, March 2012
Don't judge a book by its cover. Yes. Do not judge people from what you can see her/him outside. They - budak Wing A - are not as bad as thought! Langsung tak. It turn out to be that they are friendly, cheerful, yes gila gila and macam kawan-kawan aku yang duduk Paras 1. Mula-mula diorang masuk hari tu, memang agak awkward. Sangat awkward. Tapi bila dah lama-lama bergaul dengan diorang, setiap pagi tunggu turn mandi nampak muka diorang, setiap petang nak iron nampak muka diorang, setiap malam bila baca Al-Mulk dan perjumpaan wing nampak muka diorang, well diorang baik and peramah. I like. :)
HABIS DISITU.
Pokok akarnya, disini saya ingin menyatakan bahawa saya sudah mula menyayangi junior form four saya. Hikhok. Nampak macam statement homo kan? Whocares sheesh. Buat adik adik form four, especially Wing A yang terrrrrrrrrbaek, aku nak minta maaf pasal benda benda benda benda benda benda benda buruk yang lepas yang pernah terjadi antara kita yang takdapat dilupakan, lupakanlah. Hehe.
Ouh lupa. Buat Aainaa, I took your picture nih. Already ask you before kan? :B
Okay. Thats all. Aku dah blushing. Bye.
x
