i do want my future husband to be a great father like he is

but unfortunately i don't want my future husband to be a husband like him
never

because i saw the sadness in her eyes every single time she tell her stories

i already knew

and i'm not so sure whether i'm able to hold it up for that long

i don't know if i'm..... strong enough

i'm scared i would break apart without a shoulder to cry on

i, i half hate you

though i know i shouldn't be

Allah forgive me